ratings, ratings, ratings
Jun. 30th, 2009 11:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynnegaOn yesterday's General Hospital:
Maxie: Spinelli, I am now completely, unconflictedly in love with you and sexually attracted to you. I want no one but you.
Spinelli: I'm pleased, but why the sudden change?
Maxie: You mean, why am I no longer giving Johnny lustful, conflicted glances and telling everyone who'll listen that, even though I love you and you're my essential person, I'm not that into you physically?
Spinelli: Well, I wish you hadn't elaborated, but yes, that.
Maxie: Haven't you seen the ratings, Spinelli? The ratings are down!
Spinelli: And what does that have to do with your sudden passionate ardor?
Maxie: Don't you get it, Spinelli? The fans wanted us to have a romance, but Bob Guza and Brian Frons didn't care. They were like, who cares what the fans want?
Spinelli: And...?
Maxie: GH has been the lowest-rated ABC soap a few times in recent months. Do the math, Spinelli! Guza and Frons have figured out they better care what the fans want--at least until the ratings go up, and then they can pull the rug out from under them again. So can we please have wild, romantic sex now, Spinelli?
Spinelli: Well, okay--but I think we had best drag this out for a week or two before we succumb to our passion. This is a soap opera, after all.
Maxie: [sighs] All right.
Meanwhile...
Carly: Michael's going to live at the Quartermaines.
Edward: Has hell frozen over?
Monica: Why do I suddenly have so many lines?
Carly: It's the ratings, guys. See, the fans love the Quartermaines, so Frons and Guza have made it their life's work to dismantle the family.
Monica: You're telling us.
Carly: But now the ratings are down. WAY down.
Monica: Is Michael really going to live with us?
Edward: Not in a million years, if you ask me. But maybe the writers can lure back a few errant viewers with false hope...
Maxie: Spinelli, I am now completely, unconflictedly in love with you and sexually attracted to you. I want no one but you.
Spinelli: I'm pleased, but why the sudden change?
Maxie: You mean, why am I no longer giving Johnny lustful, conflicted glances and telling everyone who'll listen that, even though I love you and you're my essential person, I'm not that into you physically?
Spinelli: Well, I wish you hadn't elaborated, but yes, that.
Maxie: Haven't you seen the ratings, Spinelli? The ratings are down!
Spinelli: And what does that have to do with your sudden passionate ardor?
Maxie: Don't you get it, Spinelli? The fans wanted us to have a romance, but Bob Guza and Brian Frons didn't care. They were like, who cares what the fans want?
Spinelli: And...?
Maxie: GH has been the lowest-rated ABC soap a few times in recent months. Do the math, Spinelli! Guza and Frons have figured out they better care what the fans want--at least until the ratings go up, and then they can pull the rug out from under them again. So can we please have wild, romantic sex now, Spinelli?
Spinelli: Well, okay--but I think we had best drag this out for a week or two before we succumb to our passion. This is a soap opera, after all.
Maxie: [sighs] All right.
Meanwhile...
Carly: Michael's going to live at the Quartermaines.
Edward: Has hell frozen over?
Monica: Why do I suddenly have so many lines?
Carly: It's the ratings, guys. See, the fans love the Quartermaines, so Frons and Guza have made it their life's work to dismantle the family.
Monica: You're telling us.
Carly: But now the ratings are down. WAY down.
Monica: Is Michael really going to live with us?
Edward: Not in a million years, if you ask me. But maybe the writers can lure back a few errant viewers with false hope...
